I have a talent for making things complicated, in my own mind, that should have stayed really simple.
All these different thoughts and insecurities are up there whirring around, bumping into things and turning my thoughts and feelings to chaos.
I over-analyse small things and turn them in ground shattering problems; I never used to do this, what has changed?
Is it because I have gotten older? And so therefore 'more mature', if anything I have gotten less so. I used to react to situations in an unfeeling manner. I want that aloofness back, it sheltered me for years. And now, here I am, in the real world, dealing with real feelings that Im not even sure Im feeling. Perhaps I am projecting them onto myself after seeing everyone else suffer from them. So, how would I know they are real? Simple. Anything is more real than nothing, pure emptiness.
But somehow I miss it and it's too late for me to go back, I have come too far.
I have a feeling that if I did go back, I'd do it all again in the exact same way, I'd be a waste of a miracle.
